Saturday, May 4, 2013

Looks Like Liam & the Courage of a Girl


The heavy wooden doors pushed aside, we all step into the spacious waiting room. About two dozen people already mingle there, either sitting on sofas or standing around. Since I don't know anyone, I stay with my group, though this is not much good because I knew few of them very well.

The two-and-a-half hour drive has taken its toll; I am tired and groggy, though happy to be someplace I've never been. My gaze wanders around the room, taking in the huge paintings that hang on all the walls – portraits of all our governors. Four or five sofas sit near the huge fireplace and in the middle of the room, all mismatched in pattern but alike in supplying comfort. A table is set up in one back corner, stacked with coffee cups, creamers, spoons, napkins, and coffee jugs. A little office desk lay directly to the right of the door, where sits a young redheaded lady – the secretary.

All else fades as my eyes land on something that strikes my fancy like none other. Or, rather, someone. A tall man dressed in a green shirt, and a pale tie tucked underneath a dark suit stands behind another desk, this one longer than the secretary's. I take in his not-quite-typical buzz cut, and the piece of black and silver metal looped around his ears. Secret service, minus the shades. But all that is noticed in the seconds that follow.

The very first moment I see this man, I am jolted by a single thought: This is Liam Neeson's younger brother. Of course, he isn't, but I immediately decide that he is. They both share the exact same nose, the same jaw structure – the same face. The only difference is the hair, and the eyes, and the accent. Liam Neeson's eyes are a striking blue, and when he talks his voice carries with it the lilting tones of the Irish. This man's eyes are a warm hazel, and he speaks like a true American.

I cannot stop staring at him. In attempt to appear unlike some strange stalker girl, I also look around the room, take a few steps this way, fold my arms behind my back, walk back that way. But my eyes always flit back to him. His height makes it easy to pick him out, anyway; he is one of only two tall men in the room.

A debate rises up inside me. Should I walk up to him and say something? What exactly would I say? “Hey, sorry to interrupt your secret-service work, but do you know you look like Liam Neeson?” “...do you even know who Liam Neeson? How would I say it? How awkward would it be if he didn't know who Liam Neeson is? My heart skips a beat, and inwardly I shake my head. No, there is no way I could do that.

The minutes tick by, and more people congregate in the room. It seems to be shrinking; there's almost no place left to stand. I continue my charade of being interested in the room while actually just trying not to look at the Liam Neeson look-a-like, and I notice instantly when he leaves the room. I do not have much time to wish him back in, because a moment later we are instructed to line up and go in to meet the governor.

Before I know it, I am shaking the governor's hand, telling him my name, and he is smiling me and thanking me for coming. Everyone gathers behind the governor's desk to watch him sign a significant bill, and pose for a picture. Two of the men who helped him pass this piece of legislature stand beside him, and some people have to move to different areas in order to be seen by the cameras behind the tall personnel.

After everything is done, some choose to stay and talk with the governor or his assistants, and the others trickle back into the waiting room. I am one of the latter. I shake the governor's hand once more and head back to where we entered...
...And see that Mr. Secret Service is back. Now's your chance, I tell myself, You know if you don't go up and say something you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Ready... go! But I don't. My heart beat accelerates, until it's hammering. Nearly leaping out of my chest. I resort to threatening myself, If you don't go up to him, and you tell Mom you saw someone who looked like Liam Neeson, the first thing she'll say is, “Did you tell him that?” And you're going to have to say No.

I look around the room. Only a handful of people stand around, chatting quietly. Two more men in ties, dark suits, and bluetooth earpieces stand behind the long desk, and Mr. Secret Service leans on the desk exchanging words with a coworker.

Before I can gather enough courage to approach, he walks to the small coffee table – just six feet away from where I stand. Now's the time! …yet still I can't. My feet seem glued to the floor, and my tongue won't separate itself from the roof of my mouth. I purse my lips, battling fiercely with my will. By the time I have convinced myself that I shall go up and say something to him, he has poured his coffee and is already returning to chat with his coworker.

Shoot, I lost my chance. I stand there another minute, rooted to the spot, chewing the inside of my cheek. Finally, I decide, I am going to say something. Ever so slowly, I inch forward. Just put one foot in front of the other. Then again. Then I am standing just three feet away, but he's still in the midst of a conversation. I don't want to interrupt. But if I wait much longer, my group might be ready to leave...

Before I can worry much about this, his coworker hands him an empty clipboard and says something, and then he walks to a different area of the desk, a few feet away. Tentatively, I take one step – and throw all caution to the wind. It's now or never.

“Forgive me,” I say, a bit loudly, to get his attention. He turns and sees me, and I say quickly, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Liam Neeson?” My courage deflates a bit as he looks up at the wall, eyes slightly squinting, as if lost in thought.

I force out another question: “...do you... even know who that is?” If he says no, I don't know what I'm going to do...

But the man, towering above me, looks down at me with a smile and says, “Yeah... The Grey?”

I bite my tongue to keep from listing all the movies in which I've seen the actor – Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Taken, Taken 2, Batman, The A Team – and say instead in one breath, “Yeah! Yeah, that's him. Has anyone ever told you that before?”

He nods, once, and again. “Yeah.” Then he pauses, and a smile tugs up the corners of his mouth. “But... he has gray hair.” Do I imagine the friendly twinkle in his eyes?

I grin. “Alright, a younger Liam Neeson.” He chuckles, and I add, “I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell you. As soon as we walked in the room I saw you and I thought that you look exactly like him and I wanted to ask.” Mentally, I slapped my head. How much of an idiot do you want him to think you really are?

But the man is still smiling as he says, “Well, thanks... I guess.”

I, too, continue my own foolish grin. “Oh, definitely – I meant it as a good thing.” He chuckles and goes back to his clipboard, and I go back to my seat on one of the sofas, floating the whole way there. I am glowing, I'm sure, and I can't help but sit up ram-rod straight, legs crossed perfectly, smile stretched over my face. I don't care that I may have embarrassed myself. I don't even care that I notice Mr. Secret Service throwing back his head and laughing with the coworker about something probably relating to the fact that some random girl just walked up to him and told him he looked like Liam Neeson, well-known film star.

No, nothing can ruin this moment. I have conquered my fear, and have an absolutely delicious feeling enveloping me to show for it. All I have to do now is wait until the two-and-a-half hour drive back home is over so I can boast to my mother I did, in fact, go up to someone and inform them they look like a famous actor.

The clock strikes ten 'o clock a.m. and already today is a wonderful day.

(Cross my heart, this^^ is JUST how the Security Guy looks!)

Monday, April 29, 2013

Novels, Coffee, Fairytales & Fluff

Coffee and what my mother deems "fluff" novels have become my constant companions. The taste of the dark brown brew has grown on me, and I have given in to the cravings of devouring novel after novel. Or, perhaps they are just Books. I'm not quite certain of the difference. "Novel" sounds more robust, though.

Fairytale endings have threaded their way into my dreams as I lay down to sleep. "The Two Princesses of Bamarre" -- how romantic would it be to fall in love with a tall, dashing sorcerer, have him sweep you up in the warmest hug of your life, and lift you off the ground, sustaining both of you with his magical ability to fly, then end the day with a perfectly wonderfully satisfying kiss? 

"Ella Enchanted" -- a twist on the classic Cinderella story: this time defining the poor, cinder girl as a strong-willed young maiden desperate to break free of a curse laid upon her tiny head at birth. The ending ends as usual, with Ella and Prince Char winning one another over and binding their hearts together in true love, but the adventure along the way is what makes the story so good. 

"Fairest" -- one of my favorite of Gail Carson Levine's books. A retelling of Snow White, but not in the traditional sense. I love this story because it centers around a young girl who, at first glance, is not an ideal heroine: Aza is large, very large -- large boned, fleshy faced, wide-eyed... not the prettiest thing to lay eyes on. But she proves her worth on the adventure of her life, and has a singing voice unmatched since the ancestor-queen of Prince Ijori, which is the most tremendous prize in a realm where singing is just as important as breathing.

"The Hollow Kingdom Trilogy" is a series I've read four times now. And every single time the books leave me hungry for more stories of their like. Goblins -- but not in the sense most people understand them, not as Lord of the Rings, mindless, killing-machine brutes. Elves -- also different from other depictions. Certainly, they love dancing, and certainly they can be mischievous, but they are not wood imps, nor are they the somber race portrayed in The Lord of the Rings movies. How beautifully Clare B. Dunkle weaves her enchanting stories, making it ever so hard to pick your favorite character! -- which do I wish would happen to me, a human girl: to be captured by a Goblin King, to marry a young, Elf-looking Goblin after growing up to be best friends with him, or to be raised a Goblin's King wife only to end up marrying an Elf? Oh, goodness. My mind flies over the different, beautiful scenarios.

These "fluff" novels have filled my days the past few weeks. My part-time job barely scrapes by being called that: I work a measly eight hours a week. I am not the most go-getter kind of person and have not been trying my very hardest to find another part-time job... because novels are my best friends.

This moment I am reading yet another one, called "Just Ella" -- another re-hashed Cinderella story. This is my second time entering this particular world, and though it's not my favorite (in my humble opinion, it could have been written a bit better, a bit less modern), I do enjoy the perspective. Rather than telling the traditional girl-in-rags, lives-with-step-family, discovers-fairy-godmother...goes-to-the-ball, looses-the-slipper -- you know the story -- rather than writing about that, the author chooses to write about life  for Cinderella after she marries Prince Charming. It contains twists here and there, which about make up for its random usage of modern-day language or terms.

Oh, dear. And now to enter the world again to find cleaning that needs done, dishes that need washing, food that needs preparing, and grocery stores that need visited...

Or, I could just curl back up on my bed and keep reading my book... except now, my coffee's gone. Sigh. Real life it is, then.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Whom Would You Like to Be?

     The following is an excerpt from an article titled "How Can I Feel Good About Myself?" that I read in my English book today. It was very inspiring to me, since I struggle with some of the very things the author addresses.
     I hope you are able to get something good out of it for yourself, too.
*   *   *
     "Let me guess. You don't really want to be someone else. That's not what you long for. What you really want is just to be able to feel good about yourself. You'd like to believe that your life has significance. You want to be loved and accepted by someone who is important to you. You'd like to be able to do something that gives you a sense of self respect.
     "But as it is, you are hounded by self-doubt... You are sensitive to the looks and insults that others send your way. You're afraid they just tolerate you, and that if they had a chance they'd choose to do without you...
     "You feel that you'll have to look better or do better before others will show you the kind of love that can fill that gnawing, aching feeling of emptiness that has such a grip on your soul.
     "What you need to realize, however, is that even if you were a "perfect 10" in every way, you still couldn't get people to fill that emptiness inside you. If you were strikingly attractive, enormously wealthy, and notably gifted, you would only wonder whether people just wanted to be with you for your looks, your reputation, or your money. If you were a respected artist, or athlete... you would worry about losing "the gift" that had won you such fragile recognition and affection. 
     "Why does it work that way? Why is personal satisfaction so hard to find? It is because we habitually look for it in all the wrong places. We weren't made primarily to feel good about ourselves. Neither were we designed primarily to be loved by other people. We were made first of all for a relationship with God. We were meant to feel gratitude deep within our souls as a result of knowing that we... are objects of his inexpressible, immeasurable love, and [of] knowing that with his help we can live a meaningful life." 
*   *   *

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Opened to the Wonderfully Smelling World of Spray Painting

     Tonight my dad and I turned our messy garage into an even messier painting-station. He had to get a lot of beams and boards and wood blocks painted red, white, blue, and gold for a Boy Scout project. It took us a good five hours - that includes taking 10 minute breaks to let the paint dry. 
     Spray-painting never occurred to me as being a fun paint medium. I've only ever used oils, acrylics, and water colors; though ten years ago I watched my dad or older brother spray-paint my AWANA Grand Prix cars. Occasionally they let me hold the can, shake it, and spritz on the cars a couple times, but it was hard work for my little weak fingers to hold down the nozzle. And, tonight, it was still hard for my bigger, stronger fingers to hold it down!
     It was well worth the effort, however. My first major spray-painting job. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped - I didn't do the best job I wanted to, I mean - but Dad and I still had fun and got work done at the same time. 
     Mmm, when I start to get down about things, I just make myself remember the little joys in life. Like, bonding with my daddy by making painting messes in the garage. :)